helpless.

yes i am. scared shitless. feel like crying now.

i don't know what to do, do you know how frustrated i am? i feel so stupid!

am i being ungrateful? that what i have been asking all along, is now given to me, but i don't feel like i need it anymore?

a clear case of want vs. need. i thought i needed it, but actually i don't. now i don't know what to do. it's just that... this situation is suddenly thrust upon me, it's too sudden and unexpected, i don't know what to do.

yes or no? i don't know. i really don't know. i have never been this clueless since after form 5 when i have to choose what course to go to.

tkc, we need to talk, we really need to sort this out. you're scaring me, i'm confusing you. do you know how helpless i feel?

:'(